Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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