Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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