come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
