my soul wont recognize me after tonight
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
