i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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