it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
