I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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