Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
