Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
