I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Randomize
