I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
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