Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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