FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
