you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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