Already got asked if we're dating
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Cover your peen. We're going out.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
