I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
