Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
