I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
