There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
