if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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