I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Randomize
