I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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