My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
