do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
