problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
how does that bad decision feel?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
