Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
