that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize