Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
