Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
