Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
