Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
