The maid of honor just puked.
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Randomize
