I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
