I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
