Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
