is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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