Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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