i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Randomize
