I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
