Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
