Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
