maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I need water and some morals
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
