R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
