Tell her she can't have a vagina
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
