You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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