You made me cry and you don't even care
It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
PANTIES FOUND
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
