You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I got inside last night via doggy door
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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