absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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