if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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