Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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